Life is a bowl of cherries, friends, and according to self-help literature cover art, you and I are the cherries.
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Never one to shy away from literary trends, I took a break from fiction-writing this month and pounded out not one, but three self-help books about finding happiness, complete with cherry-donning cover art:
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In my first ever self-help book, I propose that you don’t really need to be happy to feel happy. The human body is full of all sorts of chemicals that, when mixed with other chemicals, can make you feel like totally all right, man.
With chapters like, “Scoring a Bag of Happiness,” “Boredom Without Boredom,” and “Cereal is Awesome,” along with twenty blank pages in the back for “when you’re in a pinch,” this book will have you on the right path to literally forgetting your troubles in no time. |
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In my controversial follow-up to High and Happy, I suggest you are just not made to be happy, and the sooner that you acknowledge your inescapable misery, the fewer remaining years of your pathetic life will you needlessly waste trying to be something you are incapable of being: happy.
In Chapter 7, “You’re the Only One Who Wasn’t Invited to the Sex Orgy,” I list 3 new Nick’s Tips™ for taking your mind off of how much fun your friends, family and co-workers are having without you. Tip 1: “Look in the mirror and repeat the three P’s: Poor, Pathetic, and Pitiful. Then go rub one out.” |
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The final installment of my Happiness Trilogy, also known as “The Last Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need,” I teach you how to eliminate the cause of your misery: yourself. |
3 Comments
Those last two would probably be a lot of fun to write, too.
They were!
The last two sound very Buddhist.
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